Saturday, May 30, 2009

I Just Couldn't Help Myself

You're in for a treat, folks. Enjoy!

Ainandil

Edward Caulfield

Germany's Best Connected

Executive Search Professional

and Another Satisfied Customer

Where is the bottom? Only the vampire knows!

This last week has seen an uptick in the number of articles reporting light at the end of the tunnel. While very cautious in their statements, growing numbers of economists are saying that we MIGHT have hit bottom.

How do they know this? What is their measurment criteria? Everyone has their favorite measurement criteria and I have the Vampire Deal Indicator.

Let me know what you think.



Quotha:

The bottom would've been last week if not for the plague of "Ohmigosh! Can the market go any lower! The sky is falling!" yellow journalists that plague the Western World.

Unfortunately, consumers are too stupid to turn off the television, media companies are too greedy to stop producing doomsday content, and Jesus loves the poor more.

Hope this helps,

Ainandil




Hey! You've had your vaccination, now check out something cool! Gems from the Underbelly -- geeky, witty, trendy.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

JustBlogIt :: Firefox Add-ons

JustBlogIt :: Firefox Add-ons: "Updated August 27, 2006"

Well, there she is.

The cool thing about JustBlogIt, well, the first, is that you compose your message in raw, honest-to-Lynx HTML. No furries, no icons, no clickits, no stupids, just you, ASCII text, and whatever tags you can recall without viewing the source of a snazzy-pants page.

Guess I can make a table.With two columns.



That's all for now, kids.

James





Hey! You've had your vaccination, now check out something cool! Gems from the Underbelly -- geeky, witty, trendy.

Today’s Contestant Wins in Spades (and Hearts and Clubs and Diamonds)

Hi, everybody!  (Hi Dr. Nick!)

Today we’ve got one of My favorite flavors of dumb, for y’all to enjoy, chew, spit out, and tell your friends.  The problem with the Internet is that you can use it.  Yes, you, sitting on your vertical smile, reading this damned post.  Computers, the World Wide Web, and etc. have been dumbed down to the point that old people are on it.  This is a travesty, if not an outright crime against humanity, and today’s winner shows why:

Carol Fonde´

Fine Art Photographer/Master Color Printer

How do I cancel my account with Linked-In?

I have asked repeatedly...even called the corporate office to stop sending invitations from me to over 200 people to join Linked-In.
My next step, within 24 hours of this e-mail, if my account is not terminated, I will take legal action.


Quoth your humble servant:

Hi Carol,
The best way to leave LinkedIn.com is violently to pull the phone cord from the back of your DSL Router. Note that this will also liberate you from such societal plagues as Facebook, Google, online banking, and blogging.

Good luck with the lawsuit.

Hope this helps.

James

…as an aside, I am uninstalling Windows Live Writer, because the motherfucker can’t space paragraphs intelligently.  What.  The.  Fuck.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Why Do People Try?

We have a winner, y'all:

Phil Lauro

Information Technology Manager/Consultant


I leave a while and what happens?

Health and health insurance in the US are in a dismal state. President Obama would like to standardize health-related information to better the US System through BI leading to preventive measures while holding down the costs associated with treatment. It all starts with a data standard.

What strategy would you use to develop such a standard and what existing standards would you incorporate into the system? Please remember this must be a HIPPA compliant system by definition.


//

Ainandil Arambar
Clerk of Doom

The best solution to America's health care problem is to walk around with a baseball bat "downlifing" the sick people, as well as those who may be expected to get sick within a certain time frame.

Hope this helps,

Ainandil





Thursday, March 26, 2009

I Think I Missed My Calling

This is not right, folks...

Courtesy of LinkedIn:

 Kunal Aggarwal

Country - HR Service Delivery Manager UAE at Standard Chartered Bank

In prevailing conditions where should a smart man park his investments a) Gold b) Property c) Stocks d ) None ?

So I replied:

Get yourself a forex account for invergy trading and a good ouija board.

Hope this helps.

Ainandil

//

And I heard back!


RE:Get yourself a forex account for invergy trading and a good ouija board. Hope this helps. A


Thanks Ainji . Greatful, if you can send me some good documents to read on this.

Regards.

Kunal.



//

This depresses me.  What do I do now, folks?

Love,

Ainandil

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Tell Me Something Stupid

So I'm bored, right, and it's three a.m. here on the West Coast of Alto Mexico, so there's even less to do.

But troll Drvdge for the latest in the online jewspapers.

Jackpot!

James Lockhart, director of the government agency which oversees Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac, whined to Senator Barney Frank about Frank's machinations to cease the payment of bonuses to executives at those two financial disasters.  You're gonna like this, gang:  "They received no bonuses for their 2008 performance. The value of their stock holdings and options are worthless. We are taking actions to ensure that these retention payments are not excessive," Lockhart wrote.

Uhhh... management at two companies which didn't flirt with insolvency so much as as turn around and drop their panties... expect to be paid for the most lackluster performance of their lifetimes?

Guess it's not as much fun when the bad guys get their A.G.

Share and enjoy,

Love,

Ainandil

Friday, March 20, 2009

Couldn't Help Myself

I know, I really shouldn't have, but... vita brevis, asinus longum.

Application Performance Measurement Systems for wireless data applications

I am doing research on applications for monitoring application performance for wireless data applications and would like to hear what the operators and data app providers are using?

//

My reply:

I typically rely upon a tall antenna for wireless data.

Hope this helps,

Ainandil





Sniffity

Bits.

Share and enjoy,

AinandilTweetIt using MyTweetElite.com

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Twitter Software

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Slashdotting our way to Stupid

It is quite seldom that I will claim to have all the answers, but I always know what the goddamn question is.  Here we go.

Gary
McKinnon, a skilled computer dumbass from Britain, hacked into United
States military networks nigh on a decade ago, and got caught. 
Extradition procedures followed:  extradition was granted in 2006.  But
wait! ...it's 2009, and Homey the Fuck is still in Britain.

God, we're stupid.

He's
been given permission for a judicial review to appeal the ruling for
extradition.  His lawyers state he as a suicide risk should he be
extradited, and mention that he was recently diagnosed with Asperger's
syndrome.

Wonder how much they bribed the doctor.

http://ibtimes.com/articles/20090123/hacker-wins-court-review.htm

So I had to chime in.  You're welcome:

Can We Get Any Stupider?

"Hacker Gary McKinnon, 42, who had been diagnosed recently with
Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism..."
So everyone with even the slightest form of unusual brain chemistry,
far above average intelligence, and stunted or impaired social
development is no longer responsible for their actions? I can
understand why the wallaby jury here in Southern California let the
CalTech graduate student who moonlighted as a serial vandal take a
walk, but aren't Britons supposed to be at least slightly more
insightful than twelve smog-breathing cretins who couldn't talk their
way out of jury duty?
Depressing stuff, folks.

-- Ainandil

%zlxpGgIK3a%

%%UivyP8As%%

Back in Chartreuse

Hello, boys and girls,

Welcome to our regularly scheduled fart.  Oops, sorry.  I loused it up; let's start again.

SLOW:

O, that the Banquet of Chaos might begin!

STUPID:

O, that the Banquet of Chaos might begin!

SCHIZO:

Let the Banquet of Chaos begin!

(All rise.  Hell breaks loose, but is quickly caught when carded for attempting to purchase laudanum.  Slow conveys him to Exiletown, where he is forced to watch television until he gets better.)

Love,

Ainandil