Thursday, December 18, 2008


Today's contestant wins in style:

Phil Lauro

Information Technology Manager/Consultant

What's your view on newly discovery and dangerous heavy element?

[Don't bother clicking it, it's lame.]

My parry-riposte?

How long have you been stuck on stupid?


Saturday, September 27, 2008

I Have No Joke, Folks

This is just unspeakably good Engrish. You're welcome.

Alain Jourdier

Passionate about marketing & communications strategy. You've got to know where the map is before starting the journey.

"Give a man a mask and he'll tell you the truth" said Oscar Wilde,
But in the digital age, is it more like "Give a man or woman the
Internet and he/she will tell you the truth?" What do you think?

Does the Internet have a "truthiness" factor or is it simply another
soap box? Does it really free us and our customers to be more
transparent, to figure what is solid and what is not? Or does it simply
reinforce what we already believe? Are marketers taking advantage of
the "truth" our clients tell us or are we simply armadillos who roll
into a ball and deny what's going on?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

I Couldn't Resist

Richard Kelleher, M.B.A.

Expertise in marketing, public and media relations. Journalist for AP, Denver Post, Arizona Republic.

What ever happened to Monster

Just looked at public relations jobs on Monster. Not a one is from a solid company. More like personnel firms.

Where can someone go to search for a PR job besides the professional organizations and

What do you use when listing?


I could be wrong about this -- there are gaps in my comic book
collection -- but I believe the Killer Tomatoes took out Monster in
Vol. XII, No. 37 of Amazing Stories. It might've been the Blob, though.

-- Ainandil

I had no choice.

DuQuan Bryant

Student at Saint John's University

What is the Illuminati and are thier messages the truth?

You don't want to go around inquiring about the Illuminati, my young friend. Many a good man has driven himself insane in the pursuit of the answers you seek. I offer instead the words of Hassan i Sabbah, founder of the Hashishim. "Nothing is true. Everything is permissible."

-- Ainandil Arambar

We Have a Winner

Phil Lauro

Information Technology Manager/Consultant

Your now in charge. What would you censor on LinkedIn?

Pointless, stupid, shoot-the-breeze-and-fritter-away-the-workday
questions, such as this one. Also, questions best answered by, say, Dr.
Laura Schlessinger or one's own minister, priest, rabbi, guru, swami,
roshi, shaman (did I miss any of 'em?) or less than one half milligram
of Common Goddamned Sense.

Also, every question with the word "green" in its title, unless they're talking about Crayolas.

You're welcome.

-- Ainandil

Monday, September 8, 2008

It *Is* Possible to Stump the Master

Bob Garrett

VP Oracle BP - invite me to connect at - 6000 1st level contacts

Anyone using Google Site?

What has been your experience?

posted 4 hours ago in E-Commerce

This is odd. I have no joke.

How Soon They Forget

Ari Bloch

India focused entreprenuer, business catalyst, technologist, inventor, and helpless Indophile (

Network usage while no programs are running? Why?

I have observed that over say a dialup connection, even when no
programs are running (email, browser, etc.), there is a lot of traffic
going in and out of the PC (you can see the Bytes Sent/Received just
adding up, to several MB/day even). Why is this happening and is there
a way to stop it and ensure that bandwidth is used only by relevant

The background of the question is to restrict bandwidth usage for
PCs connected with a modem to an ISP (i.e. no LAN) only to essential
programs so that bandwidth usage does not run up (and charges with it).

Also, is there a utility that I can use to see who/what is actually using how much bandwidth?


What you have observed is a perfectly normal phenomenon.

You didn't *really* think you could stop the troll who lives under the network from eating and sleeping, did you?

-- Ainandil

Another Satisfied Customer

Corporate Blogging / Facebook: Has your organization taken the next step in social media? If so, to what extent?

Asked by Nepal Patel ( Nepal Patel ( is a 3rd degree contact
| 19 hours ago in Public Relations, Personnel Policies | Open

Your public answer:

my business partner caught me on LinkedIn while the market is open, I'd
be kibbitzing at the end of a stout length of rope. Web logs are not
for corporations, they're not for businessmen, they're not for people
with day jobs, they're not for salesmen, they're not for the sane &
well-adjusted. In the main, they're a vehicle for narcissism and
disinformation. This is called "progress."

However -- appropriately used, online "new media" so-called can be a
very, very effective guerrilla marketing tool for the Small Guy. If
your product depends upon a deep, personal and emotional connection
with your customer, an online journal could be your bread and butter --
but you'll have to face yourself in the mirror each morning and ask
whether the loss of privacy is worth appeasing Mammon.

I have good news, however: there is a social medium for corporate
executives. It's called "golf."

-- Ainandil

Another Satisfied Customer

Sandra Palmer

Training Programmes Director at Marcus Evans

How does one organise a Launch Party?

For a small musical group too skint to have an agency, what are the steps towards organising a launch party? Is there a To Do List?

Many thanks for your suggestions!

posted 1 hour ago in Public Relations, Event Marketing and Promotions


Well, Sandra, first you need several tens of billions of dollars, a
bunch of scientists, and a planetary satellite at which to aim...

-- Ainandil

Monday, September 1, 2008

Dumb Fights Back

Question Details:
Social Networking - Online Investing: How do these two overlap?

I am writing a feature article for the National Post on how Social Networking Tools interact more and more with the Online Investing Community.

I chime in with a . . .

On 8/26/08 8:02 AM, Ainandil Arambar wrote:

Don't be a fool. Taking advice from anonymous strangers on the Internet -- especially financial advice -- is for suckers.

If you'd to quote me, drop a line.

-- Ainandil


Some people do not learn. I heard back from homey:

Dear Ainandil,

When I ask a question, I invite arguments and opinions, not dogmatic insults. If you do a tiny bit of research you will find a vibrant industry developing around social networking for investing decisions. I do not think they are all fools and suckers. Not as much as following blindly the recommendations of investment banks that millions of shares in the stocks that they rate.

I'm going to forward to your brilliant reply to LinkedIn's customer service if I can.




Crybaby. He's telling on me, oh no!

Well, folks, you know me by now -- I just can't resist. I'm working up the right reply -- notes to follow. :)

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Today's Winner

Is there a day trading (scalping) technique with proven success ratio ? is it available for FREE ?

Is there a SIMPLE day trading technique where one can scalp out 5-10 pips relatively safely ??
If yes, please provide....thanks

Clarification added 5 days ago:

This quest of mine (for the last 3 years) reminds me of Indian yogis who renunciate everything in pursuit of God realisation......

Clarification added 3 days ago:

If yes, please provide....thanks



Good question. I've had excellent results the past several years with a system of technical analysis derived from carefully scanning The Zohar. You'd better start by learning the Hebrew alphabet -- any good library will do ya. The Zohar may be found here:

You can find a free sample chart -- point of fact it's the one to which I refer daily -- for 2007-08 here:

However the above won't make a lick of sense to you unless you've read the Sepher Yetzirah -- here:

You will also need to pay attention to which signs of the zodiac Sol and Luna are in when you do your scanning.

TANSTAAFL. Thanks for playing.

-- Ainandil

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Where the Hell do these People Come From?

Karen Fu

Industrial designer

Do you think the world's mess is man made or natural ?

It sounds like a no brainer question, but I have arguments before claiming that the world is what it is today not because of man made errors. I personally think that ethical standards are not high which is the real problem to the troubles we have for the climate as well as other social economic problems.

Comments ?

What you call "mess" any sane and well-adjusted person with an IQ higher than that of the average house plant simply recognizes as the force of evolution in the abstract realizing itself through creation, destruction, and rebirth.

4.5 billion years and we just came out of the trees...

Read a book, kid. I'd start with Dick & Jane.

-- Ainandil

Friday, July 18, 2008

Ainandil Explains it All -- Satisfaction Guaranteed

Enjoy, kids.

-- Moi

would it be a proper time to short foreign banks considering they trade at peak levels compared to their book values? look what happened to american banks.

Asked by corrado battista | 6 days ago in Equity Markets | Open
Your public answer:

“Only if you're not terribly concerned with risk management [understatement heavily implied]. If that's the case, might I humbly suggest you gamble locally? Paste a CBOT overview to your dartboard and throw red and green darts. Your results will be about the same. "Hi corrado, How highly are the individual banks leveraged? and What is the quality of their exposed lending? JC Brandon" Bingo. The problem with foreign companies in general is that unless you have not only an exhaustive knowledge of the industry and a working knowledge of the company's specific business plan, unless you know the regulatory environment and /internal/ market forces in the country, you invite trouble of the kind implied in the corollary to Murphy's Law (I do not recall the number offhand) which reads, "Nature always sides with the hidden flaw." Also, as Sylvain Lanthier mentioned, it's going to get worse before it gets better. I hope this helps. -- Ainandil”


What are your suggestions for good networking resources in Singapore?

Asked by John S. Rajeski John S. Rajeski is a 3rd degree contact | 1 day ago in Professional Networking | Open
Your public answer:

“I understand from multiple media outlets here in the United States that the best vehicle for attracting attention in Singapore is a stout rattan cane. -- Ainandil”
Does the concept of 'Pay it Forward' have a place in the world of business?

Asked by Nigel Dunn Nigel Dunn is a 3rd degree contact | 1 day ago in Starting Up | Open
Your public answer:

“I always buy vodka for the town drunk. I've yet to run out of cognac, and My fiancé drinks it like water. Your mileage may vary. -- Ainandil”
Why is Hitler Vilified While Alexander the Great is Applauded?

Asked by Ketul Shah Ketul Shah is a 3rd degree contact | 1 day ago in Internationalization and Localization, Professional Books and Resources | Open
Your public answer:

“Because Hitler lost and Philip's boy won. History is written by the victorious. -- Ainandil”
How does a freelancer in IT make a good start?

Asked by Alex ราชอาณาจักรไทย Arts 龍 倖勇 Alex ราชอาณาจักรไทย Arts 龍 倖勇 is a 3rd degree contact | 1 day ago in Software Development, Web Development | Open
Your public answer:

“In the interest of solidary, I offer the following advice: 1. Get a day job. 2. Change the root password on the production server used for accounts receivable. 3. Call the CEO after hours and offer to permit him the use of his information system again -- for a nominal fee. -- Ainandil”
Does making music provide a good source of stress relief for professionals?

Asked by Harry Berman LION ( Harry Berman LION ( is a 3rd degree contact | 1 day ago in Career Management | Open
Your public answer:

“If you play a percussion instrument created from the hollowed-out skull of your last boss, then music is an excellent way to let go of stress. -- Ainandil”
"There is always a bull market somewhere" is a famous wall street line. Where do you see a bull market ?

Asked by Chris Flanigan Chris Flanigan is a 3rd degree contact | 15 days ago in Equity Markets | Open
Your public answer:

“Chris, You can't go wrong with pink tourmaline. It's bright, it's sparkly, and it impresses the girls. Also, despite continuous regulatory pressure, the markets for desoxyephedrine and methylbenzoylecgonine remain strong. -- Ainandil”
Which is the best way to analyse a company's P/E according to their earning forecast?

Asked by Roberto Alemanno Roberto Alemanno is a 3rd degree contact | 7 hours ago in Equity Markets, Economics | Open
Your public answer:

“The best way of performing any sort of fundamentals analysis on a corporation with a market value greater than a plug nickel is discreetly to seduce their comptroller. -- Ainandil”
‘Leadership, is the ability to excite people to higher levels of performance’. Do you agree with this view?

Asked by Donald Davies Donald Davies is a 2nd degree contact | 1 day ago in Organizational Development | Open
Your public answer:

“Sounds like old Robbie has been organizing Sunday school picnics on company time again. Leadership has absolutely nothing to do with any of the aforementioned meaningless psychodrivel. Leadership is an innate and entirely subconscious ability which can neither be learned nor taught any more than one can teach Kobe Bryant to grow tall; if you believe otherwise, then I have a bridge to sell you. "relational (you can’t be a leader on your own);" Of course you can. It's called "initiative." If you stand around the office cooler idly waiting for people to "follow your lead," you'll most likely find yourself standing in the unemployment line the third time your boss observes you fraternizing uselessly. "and non-hierarchical (you can’t order people, you must motivate them)" "Motivation" is as meaningless a term as "virginity." The only reliable means of compelling another person to do your bidding are paychecks and blackmail. -- Ainandil”

How long before LinkedIn becomes an indistinguishable recruiters network and job board amongst the landscape? Is this possible? If so, why?

Asked by Bryan Lund Bryan Lund is a 2nd degree contact | 19 hours ago in Using LinkedIn | Open
Your public answer:

“The time frame is approximately as long as it will take for Homo sapiens to evolve into sentient life: three to five million years, insh'allah. -- Ainandil”

Old Husbands' Tales?

Asked by Jay Schertzer Jay Schertzer is your connection (1st degree) | 5 days ago in Ethics | Open
Your public answer:

“"Never steal anything small." "If you fall down and get hurt, you get a whuppin' besides." And, to quote the late Michael Flanders: "We always have eaten people, always will eat people -- you can't change human nature." -- Ainandil”

Cross-border clients - collecting money

Asked by Chris Van Patten | 16 hours ago in Regulation and Compliance, Financial Regulation | Open
Your public answer:

“You can't go wrong with hawala banking, Chris.”

Please recommend a Wireless network solution for a open area sized 10km x 10km with cost estimation and product brand.

Asked by Tiger Kang Tiger Kang is a 3rd degree contact | 15 hours ago in Wireless | Open
Your public answer:

“The most reliable yet cost-effective technology for a wireless LAN of that size uses PTPP: Pigeon-to-Pigeon Protocol. Be wary of falcons and sharp-eyed young lads with bb guns. -- Ainandil”
How do you have fun at work?

Asked by Andrew Calvert Andrew Calvert is a 3rd degree contact | 14 hours ago in Occupational Training, Organizational Development | Open
Your public answer:

“The best ways to have fun at work are to skim from petty cash, verbally abuse temps, sexually harass secretaries, and steal office supplies. Sorry to pollute your reality tunnel with honesty. -- Ainandil”
I believe that "some times loosing is winning and some times winning is loosing". With reference to Career and Education, how can one know that he is winning or loosing?

Asked by Khurram Rashid | 13 hours ago in Mentoring | Closed
Your public answer:

“Khurram, Every time I feel like I'm "loosing," I take Pepto-bismol and the problem goes away in a few hours. -- Ainandil”
Is there a creative genius out there who can maximise my potential?

Asked by James S H Johnston MBE | 11 hours ago in Using LinkedIn | Open
Your public answer:

“Of course there is. Unfortunately, Jim, She lives in your pineal gland and can only be coaxed to emerge via fifteen or twenty years of continuous and uninterrupted HARD WORK. -- Ainandil”


After almost half an hour of the above, the opportunity presented itself at long last -- and I finally went too far. You're welcome.


What is the best experience you have ever had when it comes to customer service?

Asked by Vanessa Hughes Vanessa Hughes is a 3rd degree contact | 1 day ago in Customer Service, Using LinkedIn | Open
Your public answer:

“Not too long after 9-11, My company inflicted a grueling travel schedule on its junior partners. Whilst the majority of the six-month period remains a blur, I did receive a blowjob from a stewardess on Lufthansa. -- Ainandil”

This answer was flagged by other users as inappropriate content. Learn more.

Say it with Me, y'all:

"Another satisfied customer."

Monday, July 14, 2008

Can't... Stand... Stupid...

We have a winner, folks:

L.A. Official Wants a Change of Menu
Councilwoman Seeks Moratorium on New Fast-Food Restaurants in South-Central

By Karl Vick
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, July 13, 2008; Page A02

LOS ANGELES, July 12 -- Citing alarming rates of childhood obesity and a poverty of healthful eating choices, a city councilwoman is pushing for a moratorium on new fast-food restaurants in South-Central Los Angeles.

"Some people will say, 'Well, people just don't have to eat it,' " said Jan Perry, the Democrat who represents the city's overwhelmingly African American and Latino District 9. "But the fact of the matter is, what if you have no other choices?"

The proposed ordinance, which takes a page from boutique communities that turn up their noses at franchises, is supported by nutritionists, frustrated residents and community activists who call restrictive zoning an appropriate response to "food apartheid."

"There's one set of food for one part of the city, another set of food for another part of the city, and it's very stratified that way," said Marqueece Harris-Dawson, executive director of Community Coalition, based in South-Central.

The activist group has focused on land use in the economically depressed neighborhoods south of downtown, working to shutter 200 liquor stores and a dozen motels on the premise that "nuisance businesses" encourage violence and crime while crowding out wholesome alternatives. The fresh, healthful fare that defines "California cuisine" remains almost impossible to find on a gritty landscape of corner carryouts and franchises.

"You try to get a salad within 20 minutes of our location; it's virtually impossible," said Harris-Dawson.

Perry quoted research showing that although 16 percent of restaurants in prosperous West L.A. serve fast food, they account for 45 percent in South L.A. Experts see an obvious link to a health department study that found that 29 percent of South-Central children are obese, compared with 23 percent county-wide.

"I was working in one of these places before: It was french fries, french fries and french fries and french fries," said Tony Dubon, 46. "They ought to offer a grape or something."

Polishing his minivan at the corner of Slauson and Vermont avenues -- where the dining options were KFC/Hot Wings, Taco Bell/Pizza Hut, McDonald's and, on the fourth corner, Quiznos -- Dubon said he walks home and cooks a plate of eggs rather than eat at any of them.

"All the good food is kind of outside of the community," said Shawn Jordan, 38, selling T-shirts and sunglasses on the sidewalk with Omar Malik, who shook his head.

"You get tired; you get hungry," said Malik, 31. "The first three bites be good, and then you're like, yech, disgusting."

"There's no choice," said Jessica Quintana, 15, leaving McDonald's after a lunch of a fried chicken sandwich, fries and a soda. "It was nasty, but I ate it 'cause I'm hungry."

With two fellow council members, Perry also assembled an incentive package aimed at attracting supermarkets and sit-down restaurants. And she backs efforts to bring fresh fruit and vegetables to corner stores.

But the proposed move against fast food is what brought attention -- and, from the California Restaurant Association, sharp concern. The trade group last week filed suit against San Francisco for requiring some chain restaurants to list calories, saturated fat, carbohydrates and sodium on their menus.

Warming to the challenge, city attorney Dennis Herrera issued a statement calling the 59-page complaint "nearly as bloated as Burger King's Triple Whopper Sandwich with Cheese (1,230 calories, 82 grams of fat)." Further noting that a federal judge upheld a similar regulation in New York after a trade group asserted that it violated the First Amendment, Herrera termed the irony "as rich as an order of Outback Steakhouse Aussie Cheese Fries with Ranch Dressing (2,900 calories, 182 grams of fat)."

In Los Angeles, what alarmed the trade group was Perry's use of the words "moratorium" and "obesity."

"You know, that powerful language does a lot of damage to the industry," said lobbyist Andrew Casana. He said the terms might no longer be appropriate after Perry revised the language to permit chains such as Marie Callender's.

"You can't play the obesity card and then invite in a place that sells pies," Casana said.

Perry said her proposal, which is awaiting a committee hearing, hit a raw nerve outside her constituency. "I've been called a fascist, a nanny-stater," she said.

But researchers and activists praised the strategy as a cutting-edge application of government power to promote health.

"As far as we're aware, it's fairly precedent-setting," said Mark Vallianatos, director of the Center for Food and Justice at Occidental College. "It's an important public statement on how planning intersects with food health.

"The solution is also grocery stores and improving corner stores, and how do farmers markets survive in low-income areas? And whatever else we can do to make sure this generation isn't the first since the Industrial Revolution to have a lower life expectancy than their parents."


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